" Talent in cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work. " - Stephen King

Hello again Blog World,

It has been way to long since I have logged on to this site. Since the last time I have written my need to become a writer has only grown more intense. For a recent birthday my amazing boyfriend presented me with two brand new notebooks and a book I had never heard of it. Stephen King On Writing is now forever in its perfect place on my night table next to my bed. At first I was a little hesitant on the idea of reading a book about my writing but after the first first sentences I was completely and forever hooked. I have never been into horror novels so I am ashamed to admit that I have never even opened one of Mr. King's books. I have heard from fellow readers that his books are always a must read but I could never bring myself to pick one up. I will admit that The Shinning is and always will be one of my all time favorite horror movies. Now after reading this book I am looking forward to picking up one of his classics. I am so in love with the way he uses his words that I am more then positive I would get a thrill from one of his novels. For now I am only into the first few chapters of the book and can not wait to finish it. For the moment my blog will be short, my point being that after a long time of thinking my writing would only be seen by myself Mr. King renews my hope that my words will be seen and hopefully enjoyed.

"I passionately hate the idea of being with it" - Orson Welles

For the last few months every time I have sat down in front of the computer to write another blog my mind seems to go blank. Its not that I do not have enough thoughts and ideas to rant and rave every single day, because believe me that would not be a problem. My small frustration is that the idea for the blog came from my need to have my writing out there. I was sick of writing in notebooks and hiding them under the bed. I wanted to give myself a voice, give people a chance to stumbled across it and for at lest a moment or two be entertained. Some how I got it in my head a blog would not work unless it had a gimmick. I figured no one would bother reading this unless I presented them with a end goal, something that would keep them coming back to find out whatever happened.

I presented my first blog with the goal of becoming a published writer, and once again I will state that the goal did not included money. I am well aware of the chance of becoming a well paid writer, that was never the issue. I started of by saying that I would post each day and update the blog world on what had become with my goal but it has now been more then a few months and I have not followed up on that promise. So here it is blog world I am officially changing this blog, I am no longer going to write about my non existent writing career. From here on out I am going to rant and rave. I will ramble about my latest obsession and my latest loves. Basically I am going to be myself and not try to put on a show for the one or more people who decided to read this thing. Thank you guys if you have bothered to read and I hope you do come back to check the place out.

"Always daddys little girl"

RIP John Cole
March 2nd 1963-July 17th 2007

I always told myself I would never put this part of my life into my blog. It is a part of me that has haunted everything I have done for the last three years but today it seems to be affecting me more then usual. July 17th 2007 my world was thrown upside down when I received the news that my father, the same man who I considered to be one of the greatest men living had committed suicide. Many people who are aware of exactly how my father had passed away ask me if I could have seen this coming, yes I know your shocked that someone would ask a seventeen year old girl if she knew her father was going to kill himself one day but it happened more times then I could count. At his funeral I was asked more then a few times exactly how he had done it and told by countless people that it was okay for me to seek counseling considering the way my father had died I would need it. Truth be told my father was happier in the last few months of his life then I had ever seen him before. As much as I hate what he ended up doing I am filled with comfort that he did give me the memory's we will built in what would be our last time together. He was happier and more relaxed then I had ever seen my dad.

My whole life I had known my father was different then others, he would spend time at home instead of at work which I would later come to find he was on disability for his mental illness. His depression was no secret and was talked about on a regular basis. I knew he was what I considered sad at the time but never once did I know he was suicidal. He would spend most of his time alone not interacting with the family, something I always thought was normal. It was when my mother left my father when me and my siblings were all in our teens that I saw another side of my father. He became angry and frustrated, he would lock himself in his room and when he did come out he would storm around throwing things. He would guilt my sister and I into giving him any information on my mother and her new boyfriend, at the time I am not ashamed to admit I got sick at the thought of being near my own father. As time went on I could see the effect of the divorce wearing off on him, and within a short time he became my father again. We would spend endless nights just sitting around talking about anything and everything. We had more great memorys in that time then we had my whole life. My dad was such an amazing man and even though this blog may paint him as a sad, angry, lonely man that was only him for a short time when his depression seemed to get the better of him. When he was himself he was beyond the perfect father, in his letter left behind he begged for his children to not think of him as a coward. He wanted to be remembered for the father he was not the action that took him away from us.

I could say without a doubt my mind I have never thought of my father as anything less then a brave man, he dealt with more in his life then even I was aware and yes he ended up giving into his illness and that act alone is something I could never forgive him for but it does not mean I love him any less. He was my father, my friend and my hero and that never changed. Yes I am angry and will be for years to come over his decision, I feel it was a completely selfish act and because of it I am left alone without my dad to help me get through. I did not get the chance to bring home the man that I love to meet my father, he will not be there to walk me down the aisle, he wont see his future grand kids and that was his fault alone. I can not forgive him for taking away my father at his young age but I will never think of him as anything less then my perfect father. The point of this entry was to simply get a chance to vent to the world about my father and the deep sadness I have been feeling everyday since his passing. He was such a big part of my world that the thought that he is gone and has been gone for three years is something that kills me. I have not and I am sure will never get over the greatest tragedy that has ever happened to me.

"Fear is the most driving force in my life"

I've been struggling lately about what my next post should. I have thought over and over again if I should post a sample of my writing considering that was what I started this blog for, but the thought that technically the blog itself is a sample of my writing. I've thought about writing again about one of the million and one things that I seem to find inspiring these day. I've thought about writing about basically everything but can not seem to pinpoint on certain topic for this blog. Now I am just sitting here with the music blaring and the idea that I would just write and see where it takes me.

I was more then fortunate this weekend to get the chance to attend a local book sale this weekend that is usually off limits to anyone who doesn't have an in with a Random Books Publishing staff member. It seemed to be just the luck of the draw, when my manager who usually guards her tickets to the event was unable to attend. Instead of letting them go to waste she gave them to me. As someone who usually spends more then enough money at the local Chapters I took the opportunity to save some money and stock up on books in a heartbeat. After going through tables and stacks of books trying to find the hidden treasures my boyfriend and I walked out of the warehouse with two boxs filled and my little arms aching. I was lucky enough to stumble upon the Julia Childs Mastering the Art of French Cooking for only a dollar. Feeling insipired by the great sale and the recent movie I purchased the book only to realize on the car ride home that as much as I think I will give it a good go in the future I am no Amy Adams or Meryl Strep so for now the cook books will stay in the box well I focus on reading the ever growing pile of books now overflowing my room.

The whole point that I was trying to get at about the book sale was the fact that searching through the pile of books I came across a book I had picked up many times in the book store. It was a copy of Howie Mandel's Here's The Deal Don't Touch Me. I had seen Howie on the Bonnie Hunt show a few months back which had peaked my interests in the heavy topic of Howies struggle with OCD. I constantly picked the book and up and put it back always due to the high cost of hard cover books. Since the price was so cheap I had no exscuse to try the book out. I began reading the book this morning at 9:30 am it is now 9:25 pm and after putting the book down and picking it up over and over I have read three quarters of the book. I am more then impressed with the way Howie describes just how hard life is living with the mental diseases he does. As a child of a parent who struggled with mental illness all his life, this book makes me feel like he gets it. He gets it and knows exactly what to say to get everyone else to get it.

I am a twenty year old girl who is finding it harder and harder to deal with life's everyday anxiety. I find myself getting nervous every time I leave my house now. Being a passenger in a car is a nerve wracking experience for me. Meeting new people or even interacting with people these days seems to be an ongoing struggle. Im not trying to gain any sort of sympathy because my problems are no where near what someone with OCD has to go through. All I'm saying as someone who does experience some of these symptoms that Howie describes this book is very inspiring. Even if you are not someone who has to deal with mental illness, this mans story of overcoming these things is unbelievable. I definitely recommend this book for anyone who just wants to read about how a terrible situation like a mental illness can have so much affect on the people who suffer from it and the people they inspire.

"Love is the only shocking act left on the planet"

Today once again I have choose to go off topic on what I originally started this blog for. I am currently watching the movie Valentine's Day. I know many people are going write this movie off as a cheesy chick flick. I am not above saying that this move fits all the stereo types of the girly genre, and I absolutely adore it. There is nothing like getting off a long night off work, getting in your pajamas and popping in a movie. As I mentioned before working in a video store surrounds me with the luxury of picking a movie from hundreds of titles. As I wandered through the dramatic section deciding if I wanted to spend the night with Robert Downey Jr doing an amazing job as Charlie Chaplin or cuddle up with a blanket and a copy of Weird Science to fulfill my craving of something that has John Hughes written all over it. Instead I decided to spoil myself, since I was spending the night hanging out with my sister I thought we both deserved something happy. I wanted something that would lighten the mood after a long week of work for both of us.



I hate to admit that I did rush to the theater to see Valentines Day when it did come out. After falling completely in love the first time around I was almost positive that the second viewing would be just as amazing. I am a woman who will fully admit that I am the biggest fan of chick flicks, this one is quickly topping the list. I am so amazed at the way this movie displays so many different types of relationships and just how love affects them all. It sounds cheesy but the pure thought of how incredible love is just makes me smile. I strongly recommend this movie for anyone who just wants a feel good movie that makes you believe anything is possible when it comes to just expressing how you feel to someone. Maybe it's because I am in a completely amazing relationship that I feel like this movie shows just how far someone will go, or maybe I am just a hopeless romantic. I truly believe that he would run down the airport after me if I was about to fly across the country, or I would confess my feelings over a candle light on my birthday, or I would run to him and confess my undying love just as the clock hit midnight on New Years Eve. Is it just me that desperately wishes we could all have a great chick flick moment in our lives?

"You couldn't ignore me if you tried"

The more I look through each of your amazing blogs I am more convinced that I am more of a newbie to this world then I realized. I do believe until I get the hang of this my blog will continue to be the black sheep of the group. For the moment I will stick with the basic black layout and hope you will all just give me a chance before you click the next blog button.

I know this blog was meant to focus on my dream of one day becoming a published writer but for now I am more then excited to talk about my current love affair with the work of the late John Hughes. I have become addicted to a new book chronicling the teen flicks of the eighties including Hughe's famous Breakfast Club and others like Say Anything. I am more then in love with these amazing works of art. As a young woman stuck in the job of the local video clerk, I am surrounded by movies on a daily basis which believe me is not as wonderful as it sounds. I am lucky enough to talk to many people with many different tastes and unfortunately deal politely with the surprising few people who enjoy Steven Seagal over Steven Spielberg.



What I am trying to say is that after viewing my fair share of movies I believe the world is much over due for a blast from the past. There is something amazing about the way a group of totally different teenagers can come together and form an amazing bond, or something so fun and creative about two nerdy boys trying to bring a computer generated woman to life, or something incredibly passionate about a boy holding a stereo over his head to try and gain the girl he loves attention. The world is missing the passion, missing the emotion, missing the god damn greatness of it all. I unfortunately grew up in the eighties, feeling like I have missed out on this amazing decade. I strongly recommend picking up the book I have been so obsessed with lately, or even just popping in Pretty in Pink or The Breakfast Club when your feeling down I promise you are in for an incredible treat.

Day One

Hello blog world.

This is my first post, my first attempt at a blog. I know it's 2010 I should be used to the concept of one of these things. My name is Brianne Cole, you don't know me and thats fine I'm not here to give you my life story. Although if the mood does strike I will use some blog entries to introduce you to my world, show you aside of me that wont come out in my typical posts. I am here to write about my attempt at becoming a writer.

The point of this blog is strictly to chronicle my attempt at chasing my dream. I have always loved writing, it has always been an escape for me. It's a way to create a whole world without having to deal with the most of the time depressing life that we all lead. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying life is complete shit and the only way to feel happy is to escape to my room with a notebook and pen. All I'm saying is that when life has been hard on me writing has always been a way to keep life from knocking me down. It has only recently occurred to me that if I really wanted to do this for a living, I could. I had always used the same excuse "Everybody's a writer" or my favorite "I'll get a real job". In reality writing has always been a very private thing to me, I never tell people I do it and I have no intent on showing anyone I personally know this blog.

I am fully aware that these days making a career out of being a writer is very hard and that is why I want to make it very clear that this blog is not based on my goal to become a well payed writer. This is strictly my dream of being a published writer. I want to have something with my name on it, and god willing one day have a book on the shelves of the local book store, hell at this point I would be more then happy to have something in the clearance bin.

As for this poor attempt at a first blog, please be gentle I'm sure it wont take me long to get in the swing of things. If you are reading this and you do not know me personally thank you for giving me a second of your time, if you do know me personally I love and appreciate the support.
See you on day two.